Take the Shot! Are you making the best decisions for yourself?

The large pixelated scarlet number on the shot clock screen quickly contorts itself once again, the lesser number that reemerges demonstrates just how few and precious the seconds are that remain; the intensity of your focused performance has drown out the noise of the crowd in the hollow sounding gymnasium. It's your shot, the ball in your hands, you shake the impending buzzer off your back, dribble once, checking yourself- everything is on the line. Every second has led to this moment, this moment of truth and potential victory.

You breathe, focus and dribble once more before your shot. Then, without power, aim or much attempt, you halfheartedly fling the ball somewhere in the vicinity of the net, turn around and walk away, not even the slightest bit interested in the result. You didn't even try to score, much less 'slam dunk' your basket. Go Champ. (said no one ever)

Yes, I'm referring to those moments. Those moments when you don't go for it. You just say No. You don't “Just Do It” , You don’t take that shot, make the move, feel the courage or allow inspiration to overcome you in making a choice that you would enjoy or that would bring you closer to a desired outcome in a goal and/or area of your life.

You may prepare, plan and even practice, you may desire to win with all of your heart, but in making a decision that supports this action (taking action, speaking up, accepting an offer, ending something,etc.) something stops you from taking the appropriate action at the appropriate time.

I feel that I spend a great percentage of my time focusing on positivity, taking action, psyching people up, talking people up, and into, their dreams. I've naturally found myself the eternal cheerleader, encouraging my friends and loved ones into making their dreams a reality as I work on pursuing the same for myself.

I remember the exact moment in which I realized that life was rare, fleeting and full of possibility, I was a young child, seven or eight and as I understood this fact of life, I silently promised myself then and there to respect it as such and to enjoy it immensely.

As living life fearlessly, authentically tailoring my actions and lifestyle to correspond with who I am as a person and taking steps to consistently make a positive impact on myself and others are all things that are of particular importance to me, then how is it, that I, among others, still find myself in these moments?

The moments you're not particularly proud of? The choices no one really talks about, nor sits and boasts about. The decisions we care little to give much attention, thought or evaluation to. The lackluster, unmemorable moments in which we turn away from our ingenuity, self assurance and self reliance only to move in a more meager, mundane and mechanical motion.

The moments that we don't want to admit we all experience, have a part in defining us and play a major part in shaping our lives. They are as much, if not more the “Game-Changers” as the big, brave hurdles we are all proud to leap.

OK,I've been a bit dramatic, I know, but I have a genuine point I'm reaching here, A good question....What makes even the biggest life champions, the go-getter, the cheerleader, the most motivated forces act in a completely opposite fashion at times? More importantly,why do we so effortlessly justify these moments that we experience? Consoling ourselves with counts of past bravery and the fact that we are moving in the direction of our dreams at least fifty to seventy five percent (or more)of the time?

Shouldn't we always be playing our lives like champions? Shouldn't that be the 'norm', our modus operandi, the style in which we approach our lives? It is as if we all are accustomed to the better, bolder choices being associated with more fear, impulse or bravery so when we actually live our lives in the manner which we are supposed to (selfishly and shamelessly pursuing our personal goals), it is considered an act of personal heroism and when we do not, it is understandable and accepted? I mean, it is a big and scary world out there sometimes,I know....what it boils down to is Empowerment. The world is not such a big, scary, terrible, hard to make it place and if we were all more empowered, we would not have such fears or concerns. If we all worked on learning to empower, not disempower each other with indulgence in self pity and other self defeating emotions/behaviors, our society would have a much stronger backbone.

It is as if we believe we are allotted only parts of our lives to succeed tremendously in, as if we have to choose in which arenas we will excel the most at. (ie. Career, Family, Parenting, Art,Sports, Academics, Finance, Religion,etc)

So, most of us have selected a few certain goals and/or areas of our lives to pursue wholeheartedly,fastening both our self identity and self authenticity to these aims as we go after these few certain things, full of vigor and confidence, the usual outcome is a combination of great decision making leading to positive strides in these areas, but these areas only.

What do we cheat ourselves out of? What do we settle for? What do we believe we cannot have? What do we barter for and accept? Why do we not attempt to live boldly and fearlessly in every area of our life? We must learn to accept that it is alright and completely possible, to have it all.

Where do logic and rational decision making meet to complement taking positive action in the pursuit of our goals and living at our highest capacity? How much thought must we begin giving to our daily choices? Even the seemingly smallest ones?

I recently found myself at the end of my own firing brigade; after nonchalantly opting out of a choice that I knew I desired, I began to question myself as to why I'd made such a decision. Why had I chosen to move in the opposite direction of what I wanted? Had I allowed fear or negativity to keep me from pursuing something I desired? How had I made the choice so easily and while so aware to making it? How could I continue to motivate those around me or claim to live my life boldly if I could so easily walk in the opposite direction? I began to wonder how many other times I'd done this, perhaps while not as aware? How many times a week-or better yet- how often throughout the day- do I subconsciously (or consciously yet lacking in complete self awareness) make a decision that is not in accordance with my pursuit to live my life as the fullest expression of who I am and who I'd like to be?

Our results and outcome in life are the complete and total sum of all of the choices we make on a daily basis, the directions we take, the Yeses, the Nos, the hesitations, the uncrossed bridges, unturned corners,the unspoken words, the untried plans, the ideas set aside for “someday”, You get the picture.

If you begin to analyze the majority of your everyday choices and their results, both big and small, you will see the general outflow and its direction. Consistent similarities between your choices build up over time, an underlying pattern emerges, along with a general trend or theme, you can look to these, analyze them and you will have a good direction of where you are going, what you are doing and what you are creating for yourself.

Are you doing enough to live your best? To reach your goals? To make your life 100% authentic to who you are and to what you believe in? Or like many others, are you saying yes to a few large positive choices and then skirting around, head down, blinders on, overlooking and opting out of a massive amount of small ones? I have begun to ask myself these questions as often as possible. Where I may not have questioned a decision before, I now check in with myself, to make sure I'm not on “Auto Pilot” or deciding out of any negative or even an extremely neutral emotion, I strive to make all of my decisions based on what drives me, what I believe is the most positive choice for all involved and what brings the most joy to the table. Why settle for less?

I now stop myself to ensure that even my smallest decisions coincide with who I am and whom I'd like to be.

Being more self aware and aware of the reasoning behind nearly all of my choices has brought not only great comfort to me, but great rewards, happiness, a deeper understanding of self and a sense of personal power I did not realize I had been lacking.

When you are not acting in accordance with your true self and desires,especially in the small moments that make up your everyday life, you are swimming against the current of your happiness.

-Christy Chilton

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